Transformation

I am feeling so good today, especially after my workout this afternoon. It feels good to be taking care of my physical body, when for so much of my life I’ve focused on my spiritual and emotional bodies. I feel stronger now than I ever have in my life. I feel like I’ve grown in so many ways since having babies. I feel focused, powerful, intuitive and strong, on all levels. Of course, I feel Love more powerfully than anything. I am taking care of our world's most obvious gift - new life.

My children bring so much joy to others. People always stop to talk to them, to try and make them smile. Mostly older people. They realize how important children are to our existence. They laugh when they think something is funny, they run and call out when they're happy, they cry when they're sad, they crawl in your lap when they need a cuddle. Their needs are so simple. But if you think about it, our needs, as grown ups are simple too. We could learn a lot from the little ones.

Eat when you're hungry. Drink when you're thirsty. Sleep when you're tired. *Buddhist Proverb

Someone to talk to.

I started out my day feeling "off". I was doing it to myself, but nothing was helping me to pick myself up. As soon as I spoke to my sister, I felt better. Just having someone to talk to is just huge. The support group begins in less than a week, and I feel like I'm getting signs every day. I'm reaching out, and even if no one show up the first time, I might get just one the next week, then two the next week. But I have a feeling people will come on Friday.

I honour the choices my inner guidance requires. FAITH.

We are all Spiritual Beings

I went for a run today with a few ladies. I was so surprised and so pleased to find out that one of them practices Reiki! I have been wanting to meet some spiritually like-minded people, and it's starting to happen. Just knowing that there is a Reiki community here is so comforting for me to know. The spiritual path can sometimes be a lonely one, so I'm always happy when I meet new people.

I truly believe that every person on this planet is a spiritual being by nature. Some are just more aware, or willing, or connected than others. No book or person or tv show (!) can take away from you the potential for connection that lies within you, waiting in a dormant state to be awakened.

You are a beautiful, powerful, and gracious individual. You are the essence of god, and you have the ability to create your own life. If you set your sights on something, you will receive it, you just have to believe it.

Keeping Silence

When I think about my life, so many things rush to the surface, and I feel so many feelings all at once. I fear I'll never be able to slow down those thoughts and address them. Perhaps it's better to reflect on the feeling of being alive, and to purposefully choose those things that I would like to focus on. Such as love, joy and peace.

My life right now is perfect. Everything I am doing, everything I am thinking is absolutely as it must be at this very moment in time. Sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough in my life, that I'm somehow missing something, but when I go back to that silent place, I am whole again. Some days I struggle to find the silence ... and it takes a lot of effort to get it back. I do yoga, meditate, read, write. Even if I don't get to that silent place today I am planting the seeds for another day. One day, I'll no longer struggle for the quiet place inside me, it will just be there.

On the other hand, I suppose that the silence is always there, it is I who chooses to fill it up with thoughts.

Potential for Greatness

Is it possible to have everything that you want? I feel this potential for greatness, abundance and infinite happiness, but for some reason that is scary for me. I admit it, I am feeling a little weak right now. Could I really be afraid of success? How silly would that be?

It wasn't so long ago that I had a positive outlook on every single aspect of my life, but motherhood has changed all of that for me. The transition into this new world has changed absolutely everything! Once upon a time I felt connected, joyful, abundant, confident and just plain happy. Life was almost too easy, and I think I may have asked for more of a challenge. Many times throughout my life, I have felt like my life has been too perfect.

But living my life only for myself never would have been fulfilling for me. It seems easier when there are more things to keep me busy - like raising two toddlers, like starting a support group on my own, like moving to a new town where I don't know a soul. Life is always easy, it's really just about perspective perhaps.

I am working on accepting all the great things the universe has to offer me. I know it is up to me to change my way of thinking, and to create my own destiny. Every day, I say thank you for my life. I am blessed in so many ways. A great husband, two healthy and happy children, a beautiful home, and so many other things.

I am practising gratitude for the abundance I am about to receive.

Support Group

The support group is really going to happen! I've got the room booked for January 30th, and for every Friday after that. I really don't know what to expect at all. I am feeling nervous, but I am really excited too. I keep thinking I have a lot to do in terms of what we'll discuss, but I don't think that's realistic. I want to keep the focus on talking. I want each and every mom to say what she needs to say. To be listened to, and to feel safe and supported.

It hasn't even crossed my mind, until now, how many people will show up. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I just have to have faith.

Work In Progress

I should carry around a sign that says "Work in Progress". I feel like I will never know enough, never be able to sit for too long saying "I am perfectly contented where I am", though I wish I could. It wouldn't be realistic because I constantly analyse myself. What could I be doing better? What should I have said in that situation? Always learning, always growing. And maybe that's what keeps life interesting for me; that's what our nature is - To question. To create my own destiny by wondering "What if"? Ultimately, all roads lead to nirvana, I think.

White Chocolate knows a great little tale of a yogi & a fool ... maybe she'll be kind enough to post it here for us to ponder?

I'm in a foggy state at the moment. My son is beginning to challenge the night ... he wakes up crying out for mama. All he wants is a cuddle. Then another cuddle. Then another. I had to leave him to cry last night, which was really hard to do. But if I don't take the step now, he'll figure out how to manipulate me, and I'll never get a good night's sleep again! He is testing his world. Now, in the light of day, I can say it's admirable. He is always learning, always growing. But that's not what I'll be thinking tonight when he cries out for me. One step at a time.

It is ingrained into our ethereal beings to see what our world will give us, if we only ask. Some things will seemingly be denied, only to come to fruition long after you've requested it. Other things will be granted almost immediately. Have faith. Grow. Move on. Love and live and play with reckless abandon. All wishes are granted. If your wishes are truly what you desire. And so, if you are feeling in a slump today, remember that the difficult times are only temporary setbacks, minor obstacles to the great dreams that will become reality.

I may never be completely at peace with my life, but I know that after my life in this body is over, peace/nirvana/heaven will be waiting for me. I know I'll have the opportunity to reflect on the things I accomplished here, and that so much of what I worried about was so trivial in the great, big, infinite picture.

I am feeling out of sorts today. It is that time of the month - maybe I should just be expecting to feel terrible, and make plans to deal with it. Or perhaps I should stop trying to resist feeling a little bit sad, a little bit agitated, a little bit anxious.

I am nervous about a meeting at the public health unit on Thursday. I'm just going to tell the nurses that I am starting a support group for moms. But I'm so scared that I'm going to cry in front of them. I really don't want to cry in front of the nurses ... they'll be analysing me, judging me. Maybe they'll think I'm not qualified, not ready to "lead" other women on a path to healing. The truth is, I don't want to "lead" anyone. That's not the point of a support group anyway, I suppose. Can I do this? Can I do this ...

There are points on the path to enlightenment when you think nothing is happening. That is the moment that the thing you want is just beneath the surface. I know I just need to persevere, and the universe will work everything out, but right now I'm just feeling a little bit scared.

Taking Control of Your Life

I am feeling inspired about the direction my life is taking. Life isn't "happening" to me anymore. I am making my life happen, and I am becoming the person I've always wanted to be. I am a beautiful, insightful, kind, loving and positive woman. The only one who ever held me back was myself, and now I'm ready to take a chance and make change. With great risk comes great reward.

In the past, I allowed my inner voice to become too loud ... My insecurities were holding me back from the things I really wanted in my life. I remember the day I began to take charge. I was venting about a recent breakup, and I started telling my compassionate listener what my next boyfriend would be like. He would have to be cute, and have big arms to wrap around me, have the ability to help keep me safe, be a great listener, I even stated the colour of his hair ... and it also wouldn't hurt if he was a wrestler.

The universe gave me this man. All I had to do was ask.

After getting married and having kids there hasn't been much on my list. But I am ready to start thinking about what I really want out of my life. I want the good stuff. I don't want to be at the conclusion of my life with regrets about the things I didn't do, or how I didn't put myself out there because I thought people might not like me. I am living now, and it feels fantastic! My blog has become such a bright light for me, and hopefully for others. I am ready to offer my support to women, mothers who are having a tough time like I did, not so long ago. I am planting seeds for my own business, and I am so excited to begin.

2009 is going to be a great year for me, and the ones I love.

2009 is going to be a great year for you too, and I am so excited for you!